Saturday 28 June 2008

Holiday 2008

Well lads and ladies I return to the land of angry shopping and leisurely violence known as Essex-shire from the kingdom where people who work on tills at Sainsbury's make good conversation and give you stuff for free because you were nice, and where the cows in the front garden are never ending entertainment. This place was Oker, Derbyshire, and coming home just depresses me. :(
Despite the weather I had a nice relaxing week and made visits to places such as the Devils Arse (no really...) a village ruined by TB and the apparent drug central of Derby town.
Home from home huh?
One thing that did worry me about the week was that my boyfriend was joining the family for the first time. Luckily everything was good, and they loved him to bits (or so they say ;p).
Anyway... enjoy some pictures from the week...

See, told ya, Devils Arse, and we went for a peek!

Its Harry! The horse that lived in the field that back onto our garden, we foolishly gave him an apple on the day we arrived. He never left us alone after that. There was also a donkey that was a true Eyore, looking very sorry for himself.

The tension rises as the boyfriend plays the dad at Chess. Incidently, the dad won.
Ducks!!
Lots of Ducks
Very Cute!

Friday 13 June 2008

Challenge

I'm staying in a house this week with not very much in it.
I need to think of food I can cook, that just uses the following...
1) Oven
2) Plastic Knives and Fork
3) No fridge or freezer storage
Cos thats all i'm gonna have ;p
Good luck one and all!

Sunday 8 June 2008

Beach Trip!

Trip to the beach! WOOT!
I've learnt a number of things from this trip, including some maths!


1) 1 Girl + 8 Guys + Beach = Girl being thrown into sea
2) 1 Foam Bat + 1 Dan = Broken Window
3) 1 Mink + 1 Long Minibus Trip + 1 Girl = Girl with Sore Arm
4) 1 Mink + 1 Diana + 1 Ahmed - Sanity = Song that Irritates Everyone in Minibus
5) 1 Girl + 1 Yellow Blanket = Yellow Sheep (BAAAA)
6) 1 Girl + Tesco Carrier Bag + Radio = MD Bin bag
7) 1 Girl + Factor 50 Suncream Not Spread Out Properly = Hand Print on Girl's Chest

I think that pretty much sums up the weekend.

Thursday 5 June 2008

Helpful Tip

Never take directions from me.
It turns out I have the sense of direction similar to that of a toadstool.
For example, today I went to view a house in Portsmouth to live in whilst I'm on placement next year. I managed to locate myself there fine! No problem, got on a bus and got there fine.
However, I attempted to walk back to the station to see how long it took, and to meet my current housemate, Keira, and a friend.
This is the route I ended up taking.
(Bus in red, Walking in yellow)
Hmmm....Then I continued to walk for the rest of the day around Portsmouth, directed by a friend who lives there luckily!
My feet hate me.

Wednesday 4 June 2008

Spanners and Bus Babies


Today I want to write about spanners. Mainly because I've been told that this is the only subject I can actually talk about that won't spark some kind of Europe-based quote-age in the Rye Experience household.
I'm going to write about the wrench-type spanners, not the British journal on non-market socialism (started in Guildford I'll have you know), nor the free software program for Windows 2000 or XP. The type you use if you fancy yourself a bit of a Handy Andy, who I'm assuming is not a non-market socialist. A spanner is a tool to provide assistance in turning bolts, nuts or other hard to turn items. They can be double ended or single ended, and come in a whole spectrum of sizes. You can even get adjustable ones if you cant decide! The possibilities are pretty much endless.
No more struggling with your fingers, making you look as foolish as a fool. This magical mechanical marvel will make even the weakest women and men look mighty.
So there... consider yourself informed.
Also, I would like to send a message to all women in the world with prams, who chose to use the bus at busy bus times...
If you can't get the bus, just GET OVER IT!!! Don't proceed to complain to the bus driver that people use the bus, then scream about it and spend 10 minutes trying to prove that you can actually squeeze on, despite what the rest of the bus says, injuring an old man in the process.
That is all.
I've just been commanded to get in a bin and eat cake before the dog next door gets to it. The dog is called Megan, not Gemma.

Tuesday 3 June 2008

I'm Not A Man

Just had a woman knock at the door (amazing...huh?...)
As soon I opened the door I was greeted by the following comment of utter disappointment.

"O...you're not a man..."

Don't you just sometimes wish you never left the sofa.

Me "Well, no, no I'm not"
Woman "Do you know any men?"
Me "Yes, funnily enough, but they're not available at this time"
Woman "O...I'm doing some research you see..."
Me "Really?"
Woman "Yes"

Then she just left, leaving me stood on the doorstep in a state of utter confusion and amazement.

Crumbs and Knowledge

Welcome fellow time-wasters to the blog of Diana!
Since arriving at this sofa approximately 3 hours ago the only productive task I have managed to successfully carry out is to scoff almost half a packet of "The co-operative plain digestive biscuits."
I would recommend them to all other sofa-sitters out there, especially if you have a cup of tea to hand or even to table.
However, now I have a keyboard full of crumbs, which isn't really a major issue, but eventually when I move my rear from the sofa (and probably the rest of my body too...) I will employ Henry to the task of crumb removal.
Another completely utterly useless thing I have done since sitting on this sofa is look at various university courses on UCAS. I have come across one awesomely named, but utterly pointless degree at Southampton Solent university called "Knowledge Management." (http://www.solent.ac.uk/courses/undergraduate/knowledge_man_bsc/course_details09.aspx)
I just wish I had some knowledge to manage :(